


Life with you

by RightHandWoman



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, HOLY FUCK A HAPPY ENDING!, but a bit angsty at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RightHandWoman/pseuds/RightHandWoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At that moment her regret stings the most and her longing for Alex Dawson grows, to be able to hold her once more, to build a life with her.</p>
<p>She thinks of holding her in her arms as they fall asleep, she thinks of giving her a soft kiss as they are woken up by their alarm.</p>
<p>If only she had been brave enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CommanderInChief](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderInChief/gifts).



> For CommanderinChief because I lost a bet to her. Technically the prompt was "Blow me one last kiss" But I changed it up because creativity for something else was at an all time high! Title is stolen from a Proclaimers song.

Weeks had passed since Bernie last saw Alex Dawson, and still their kiss played over and over again in her head. The need she felt, she love that burned in her chest for Alex and something she hadn’t felt every since she returned back to the UK… She tries repressing the thought, but it pops up at random; when she’s alone in her office; when she’s taking care of a patient; when she sees a couple in the hospital or just walking down the streets, holding hands and looking lovingly at each other.

When she’s alone at night

At that moment her regret stings the most and her longing for Alex Dawson grows, to be able to hold her once more, to build a life with her.

She thinks of holding her in her arms as they fall asleep, she thinks of giving her a soft kiss as they are woken up by their alarm.

If only she had been brave enough.

~

AAU was mental that morning, but the good kind of mental. The kind that kept her sane and had her hurrying in a fashion she was most accustomed to. However, the moments she didn’t have anything to do, the moments she had to focus on paperwork were the moments she zoned out and started thinking about Alex. 

_Alex would have nothing to do, she’d come up to Bernie and surprise her with a hug from behind. Bernie would look up, turn her face and a soft smile would appear as Alex used this opportunity to steal a sweet kiss. She would release herself from Alex’s tender embrace, hum softly and before long, the two would lock themselves in a cupboard, snogging like two teenagers in the backseat of a borrowed car._

It was Fletch who pulled her out of this daydream, snapping his fingers. “Ms Wolfe? You’re needed on the ward.”. Bernie was grateful that she was needed, if she was busy, she couldn’t afford to let her mind wander to everything she gave up and then maybe for a second, she wouldn’t feel as guilty.

She froze though once she saw her patient, a sound somewhere between a gasp and a terrified whimper escaping her throat. It was Alex Dawson lying in the hospital bed, her eyes barely open but a spark of recognition burned when she saw Bernie standing at the side of her bed. 

“Ms Dawson was found on the streets after what can only be assumed to be a rather brutal attack. The paramedics have confirmed head trauma, though not the severity of it and it is quite possible that she suffers from multiple fractures to the ribs and perhaps even internal bleeding, the scans should tell us more.” Fletch told her, blissfully unaware of Bernie’s shocked expression.

She hesitated for a moment. “Ehm… Could you perhaps get Ms Campbell on this case. I can’t… I’m sorry, I don’t know… I can’t,” she stammered, before quickly running off, leaving Fletch there on his own, looking rather puzzled.

Bernie ran outside, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to get her thoughts back in order. She had tried so hard to shut whatever images were left of Alex out, but now that she was here on her ward it was only going to become more difficult. She leaned against the building, lifting her head up to the sky. “Why this? Why now?” She whispered to no one in particular…

~

It took too much time and a cup of coffee before she finally felt like she had collected herself enough to continue her shift. Serena would take care of Alex, knowing full well that Bernie wouldn’t be able to perform surgery on her, and she would take care of the other urgent cases.

She approached one of the nurses when she didn’t find Alex where she was before she had ran off. “Excuse me, do you know where they’ve taken Ms Dawson?” she asked.

“She’s in surgery, the scans indicated internal bleeding.” he replied, after which Bernie immediately headed to the operating theatre. She watched through the window at her lover, just wanting her to be alright. She had all faith in Serena and the AAU team, but it was always terrifying when someone you knew was in there.

~

Serena walked out of theatre once Alex was stitched up again and faced Bernie. “Alex will be alright, but I would recommend you go and talk to her.” Bernie stared blankly at her, raising a questioning eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry?”

“You two have a history, that much I know and I think it would be for both your sakes best if you went to talk to her, apologize or whatever it is you must do.” Serena said before walking back onto the ward, leaving Bernie to mull over her words.

~

The first thing Alex Dawson saw when she woke up was Bernie sitting next to her, holding her hand as it if was made from porcelain. She should be angry with her, how dare Bernie hold her hand like that after Bernie made it so very clear that she chose Marcus over her. She was about to shoo her away when she started to talk to her: “I made a huge mistake… I shouldn’t have let you go,” 

Alex frowned but motioned for her to go on.

“I care about you, Alex, I’d even go as far as to say that I love you. You made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years and all I’ve done since I came back was think about how wonderful life with you would be; it keeps me awake at night I keep thinking ‘If only I was brave enough’.”

Bernie took a deep breath and held Alex’s hand with both hands, finally speaking those words Alex had been longing to hear.

“But for you I can be brave enough, for you I want to be brave enough.”

Alex reached up to cup her cheek.

“That’s all I needed to know.”

Before Bernie could speak another word, she was pulled down into a gentle yet passionate kiss.

No longer did she have to imagine life with Alex


End file.
